"Tityana, why are you doing this? Why do you respond this way? Why do you feel this way? What causes this behavior?"
When I was a lesbian my mom put me in therapy and the therapist asked, "What brings about these feelings for women? Is it a past trauma? Are you acting out?"
My mom said, "I think it's because her dad isn't in her life."
I said, "No, I just like girls. There is no reason, nothing too traumatic or fancy.. I just like girls. I've always been like this."
There was another time when I blamed my mom's failed relationships as a reason for why I liked females.
At the time, I did not know that my behavior stemmed from deep psychological issues. I wasn't at a mature place mentally where I could identify with my issues, insecurities and experiences throughout life that played a part in why I was living life the way I was.
As life happened to me, I responded the best way I knew how. Which is what a lot of us do. We communicate the best way we know how, we love the best way we know how, we treat people the best way we know how... and our best way is sometimes the worst way because either it is learned behavior.. it is us reacting to a situation in which we vowed "no one will ever make me feel this way again".
If you live by the myth: "I'm just like this. This is how I've always been." I am here to kill that myth. ["Just" meaning perfectly; completely] - you are not "perfect like this". You are not "complete like this". That is not how you've "always been". Everything that you are is by experience. You haven't always had an attitude problem, you became that way through experience. You haven't always suffered from anxiety, you became that way. You haven't always been a homosexual, you became that way. Attitudes and traits are embedded on your brain depending on who impacted your life as a child and adolescent. Understand that there is a reason as to why you are the way you, why you live life the way you live it, and why you feel the way you feel about certain things. THERE. IS. A. REASON.
born into sin - we're all born with a sinful nature. we are inclined to sin.
shaped - to have great influence on; mold
iniquity - wrongdoing; offense
So bottom line is: We're all born into the life of sin and molded into wrongdoing. We are born not knowing what sin is but molded into living an offensive (aggressive and combative) lifestyle due to people and things that have had great influence on us.
The reason why you react that way when a man tries to hug you is because you were molested. The reason why you abuse love is because you were introduced to love in the wrong manner. You don't want to get married because everyone you know has had failed marriages. You are overbearing because your parents neglected you. You are so mean because your mom was never nice to you. You have trust issues because your own family betrayed you. We live an offensive lifestyle due to those people and experiences that have left a negative imprint on our memory. We grow up ruined and damaged but we assume we have it all together because no one has taught us how to think differently, perceive differently..no one has traced our steps back to how we really feel. No one has helped us discover our greatest influence.. We've yet to uncover those moments in life that taught us how to do things the wrong way (the best way we know how).
We are all searching for complete fulfillment. Some of us think our fulfillment is in money, a companion, a career, babies, bettering ourselves, etc.. Some of us spend our lives determined "not to be like mom and dad" because we think proving that we're different is our fulfillment, what will bring us complete joy. We are all in the search to feel secure and content in who we are. But we've been going about it the wrong way (best way we know how). We'll never discover that gem of joy and ultimate satisfaction until we first know who we are and why we are the way we are.
What I discovered is that although, my life was pretty crazy, God had plans to make everything work for the good (PROOF)!!! He had plans to give me a beautiful future (PROOF)!!
Right now, we don't understand why we have been dealt the cards we have but God has made everything beautiful in it's own timing (beautiful PROOF).
Seek God. He is the Creator of the universe and He knows everything about your life because He created it. Ask Him questions, confide in Him. He is waiting to hear from you (CLICK HERE)
GOD LOVES YOU. "He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you, that you might have everlasting life. His love is not based on performance. Christ loves you so much that while you were yet a sinner, He died for you.
God's love for you is unconditional and undeserved. He loves you in spite of your disobedience, your weakness, your sin and your selfishness. He loves you enough to provide a way to abundant, eternal life. From the cross Christ cried out, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing."" (Source for PROOF) God's love reaches beyond every circumstance.
God knows you and He has the answer to every question that you have. He is the One that formed you in the womb. He's always loved you and He knows everything that you've been through. You should talk to Him.
If you do not know God but desire to know Him then you can today. Don't miss the chance to live a life of freedom filled with unlimited peace, joy, love, strength, and access to GOD (the CREATOR of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE!)
Romans 10:9 assures you that if you BELIEVE in your heart and CONFESS with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead, that you will be saved! So repeat after me (ALOUD): "God, I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and that You raised Him from the dead! Thank you God for salvation!"
WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM FAMILY!!!!!
HALLELUJAH!
Say this prayer with me:
Father God in Heaven, I thank you for my life. Thank you God for loving me with a love that I will never understand. Thank you for creating me with a purpose. I am confused about life. I can only do things the best way that I know how but your word tells me that You are the way, the truth, and the life and I need you to show me the way, I want to know the truth, and I want to live life the right way. I ask God that you fill me with all knowledge, wisdom and understanding of who You are and the will you have for my life. I desire to know the plans you have for me, I desire ultimate satisfaction. I am seeking you because You are the Creator of the universe and the Creator of my life. God I have questions and you are the only one who can answer them. In spite of how my life is now and what I see when I look in the mirror, You see the beauty in me, the worth in me, and you've placed a value on my life that I will never understand but God I thank you. I don't fully understand why I do the things that I do, but God, You understand. So God I invite you into my life and I am waiting to hear from you. It is in Your Son Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.
Until next time,
I LOVE YOU!
No comments:
Post a Comment