forgiveness

(this post has been sitting in my drafts for the past two weeks...i think it's about time i post it)

 

FORGIVENESS... man don't you just hate that word sometimes? but do you know how vital it is in your life?

 

forgiveness - to pardon; to show mercy; to excuse for a fault or an offense; to renounce anger or resentment against.

psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness...forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger...it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.

biblically, forgiveness is an obligation, a principle of the Kingdom. if anyone hurts us, we are under an obligation to God to forgive that person/persons. (Matthew 6: 14-15 (The Message) reads "You can’t get forgiveness from God without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part").

I hear often from my pastor about the power of forgiveness and I even wrote about it in a previous blog post (click here to read, if you'd like) when I gave my testimony about forgiving my absent father.

 

are you holding onto un-forgiveness? why?

you feel someone owes you something? did someone not live up to your expectations? did someone lie to you? did someone not fulfill their end of a bargain? did someone walk out of your life, was never present? someone didn't treat you like you felt you needed to be treated? what did you do that you feel you should not have done? what did you partake in that has conviction weighing on you? 

what is it?

and most importantly, is it worth your life?

 

now speaking to those who have dedicated their lives to Christ and live to reflect His teachings, you do know that we have new mercy and grace every waking day and we are to give mercy abundantly. Christ told Peter to forgive those who wrong you even if they wrong you seventy times seven. we fall short everyday! thoughts, words, actions, judgment...some of us go three, four days without spending time with God and in my eyes that's wrong if He's our husband and we're the temple. so you see we hurt God, some of us blatantly reject Him, we pierce His flesh over and over again, but we are forgiven! ONLY if we forgive as well.

some of us struggle with forgiveness. (YES, forgiveness is a struggle - just like alcoholism, lying, anger, etc) but it's not based upon your strength but the strength of GOD. He wasn't bluffing when He said "come to ME with everything in prayer". go to God and say "God I really don't want any bitterness to become me, I do not want the stench of un-forgiveness. I want to smell good in Your presence! God give me the strength to forgive, give me that gift of mercy, help me to move on pass this hurt.." TALK TO HIM! HE'S YOUR PRESENT HELP! ASK AND YOU WILL RECIEVE - THAT'S A PROMISE! AND HE IS FAITHFUL TO HIS PROMISE! (OH GOD GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!)

 

SIDENOTE: when it comes to principles of the Kingdom - yes, we MUST walk in them because the word principle is defined as a law or rule that HAS TO BE. a principle is something that WORKS whether you do it or not.. so abide and it works for you or refuse and it works against you (with the ultimate HOPE that you'll come to your senses and it'll work for your good). sometimes as Kingdom folks we have to look in the mirror and say, "do I reflect this God that I say I love? that I say I follow? that I say I believe in? am I loving? am I merciful? am I encouraging? I must be the good news before I can speak it!"

 

the enemy's task is to make you THINK you have the upper hand by NOT forgiving.. but you are actually holding yourself CAPTIVE by not tapping into that POWER of FORGIVENESS.

 

now those of you who have a different belief system or who have no belief at all, I want you to realize the power of forgiveness as well. you can become stagnant by holding onto an offense. do you know how many people who choose not to love because they have been hurt? do you know how many people are bitter because of what their parents did or didn't do? do you know how many people suffer with depression because they cannot forgive themselves?

to live with not forgiving someone is giving them the power. to live with not being able to move pass a certain situation stunts your growth - whenever the topic comes up, you immediately shutdown, a similar situation arises and you flee.

and if you are completely honest with yourself, you would admit "I don't want to be like this"

 

not forgiving someone does not give you power but gives them power over you. not forgiving a situation doesn't make it easier for you to avoid, recognize or move on but it holds you captive behind bars titled "melancholy memories" so whenever it's mentioned you revert back to that moment and become either defensive, angry or sorrowful.

 

I know you want to be free. so be free.

 

i'll leave you with these two thoughts:

a couple of months ago, a girl that was in my graduating class kept popping up in my mind. I began thinking of all the things that went down throughout high school that involved her...and then a thought hit me hard, "man. you weren't the nicest person to that girl" and it was true. I deceived, manipulated, and lied to her. I toyed with her emotions. man I was terrible. but she thought I was one of the best friends ever. I was some what of a confidant for her. she came to me when she needed to talk, she trusted me. and I abused her emotionally and mentally. not only did I have to forgive myself but I also reached out to her to let her know that I realize what I had done and I sincerely apologize.

 

I attended this church where I was an active member: I danced and recited poetry from time to time. my dance and I developed a great relationship, one where I confided in her about a great deal (and anyone who knows me knows that I don't talk about anything). time passed and things started getting around the church about me and I was asked to have a meeting with the pastor of the church. I felt betrayed because I was thinking, "well how could ANYONE know about this if you had not told them? why are you discussing me with anyone? if you felt that talking to them would ultimately help me or better me, then you should have discussed it with me first." but I couldn't voice how I felt at the time because my emotions were in full affect. in the meeting I was asked "do I think I would be able to minister effectively considering what I had going on in my personal life?" i'm thinking "you go through things all the time pastor but does that stop you from preaching??" i was in disbelief. my mouth dropped... i felt hurt and judged by my own church home. so i left the church, stopped dancing for a good deal and shut down even more because now i'm thinking church isn't for me, my God-given talent is being judged according to my sins and why talk to anyone when they're just gonna talk behind my back anyway. when i finally got back in church, i didn't fellowship, i didn't worship publicly, i didn't allow myself to be transparent and whenever i'd see someone minister through dance i could only cry because i felt something was missing in my life. i had a lot of issues i had to overcome but i could only do it by FORGIVING my dance teacher, the church members and the pastor. i even had to forgive the situation and lastly, forgive myself for allowing it to make me turn my back on Christ.

 

 

know that God loves you dearly and everything that happens works for your good if you love Him! walk in forgiveness and watch how it changes your life. be steadfast in prayer about ALL things and watch how God shifts some things in your mind and your heart. become a new creature! WALK IN LOVE!

 

I LOVE YOU AND BE BLESSED!

 

 

P.S. if there are any misspelling and grammatical errors, charge it to my head and not my heart.